Believing

I hit 227.1 on Friday!  To be in the 220s again is.... amazing!  I feel so much better and lighter, and clothes are getting too big and it's all such an awesome feeling.  It's that feeling of being in control of your life that I love.  Do you know what I mean?  It's like... I'm not allowing my body to give in to life's shenanigans... I'm taking control of it and I'm reaping the benefits.  It's that whole "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels" concept. 

On Friday I went ahead and bought the next two charms I have earned.  The purple one is simply because I love purple and I wanted to add more color to my bracelet. 

The entwined hearts symbolizes many things to me at this point, but one of which is the love I have for myself and this journey.  I can only have that love by God's grace.  It is important that my life, my "heart", be intertwined with His in order to experience the life I'm meant to have. 

Last week I picked up this curling iron too.

And this week I picked up the Clarisonic Mia 2 from Ulta. 

I first saw this device on QVC right before Christmas.  It seemed cool enough, but I'm always a big skeptic on "miracle" products such as this.  Then I read a post from Gretchen about how much she loved her Mia, along with the other commenters from her post.  Then I went to my friend's house to discover that she had one too and loves it.  Given that I still suffer from acne like a teenager, I decided I wanted to give this a shot.  I wear a lot of makeup everyday, and I know that there is no way a wash cloth and my Olay Foaming Face Wash was doing the trick entirely.  That is also the good thing about this device - you can use whatever nonabrasive wash you'd like (do not use an exfoliating cleanser - it will end up being too harsh for your skin).  

I was also able to move 2 more beads from one jar to another!  Yes!

Weight Loss Jar

It feels good to share your weight loss journey with others in real life {i.e. not in the blogger's world!}.  Once upon a time I would have disagreed with this, but today I feel differently.  Sure, I've gotten negative feedback and/or unwarranted comments from others in the past, but lately that hasn't been the case.  In fact, I think I owe a lot of my success to the encouragement I've gotten from others!

I shared recently with a friend the story behind my bracelet.  She's been so supportive ever since!  She is actually the one who gave me this idea:

I would have gotten smaller jars to really show the true difference if I could have more accurately visualized the end result, but I still like them.

She found the idea on Pinterest.  I am a big fan of these "anchor" methods to weight loss.  I like having a visual of what I've accomplished so far.  I also like that I have a tangible item to move from one "side" of the journey to another. 

How do you feel about anchor methods for visualizing your own success?  Do you have any neat ideas to share?  I can never have too many :)

Persevering

Sometimes there are just no words. Given that I tend to be such a "chatty Cathy" at times, this might seem unimaginable to those who really know me.  I'm going to try to find the words though.

I once said that if I could accomplish my weight loss goals, I could accomplish anything life threw at me.  I would know that I had the perseverance necessary to get through anything at all.  It's a really hard journey for us at times... losing weight.  It takes hard work, dedication, heart, self love, discipline, focus, and most importantly, time.   

When things don't go the way we want them to when we want them to, those are the most important times for us on this journey.  Afterall, when things are going well, there is nothing to worry about right?   Our character isn't being challenged.  But when we hit those stumbling blocks along the way, we need to know that we will get through it eventually.  It is during those times that our character is being developed.  Do we choose to react to our emotions, and eat away the pain of our current problem{s}, in other words, do what we've always done?  Or do we choose to be positive and know that in God's bigger plan for us is something better - a bigger loss next week, perhaps, if we stay obedient to the plan we've been asked to follow.

We didn't put on The Big Weight over night, so the troubles are not going to go away over night either.  Still, we have to really work at achieving what we want and when challenges come along, as they always will, we need to face them head on.  We need not run away.  We need not get angry.  We need not feel hopeless.

Someday The Big Weight will be no more.

Someday I will look back and say instead:

 "It wasn't weight loss that was my greatest accomplishment in life.  It was that after having my heart broken into a million pieces by someone whom I trusted would never do that, I still managed to put a smile on my face and trust in God that it would get better.......and it did!" 

That will make me unstoppable.

Another Goal Reached

I'm down another 5 lbs this week, bringing me to a total loss of 33.8 lbs.  I am really proud of myself that this weight is continuing to come off.  I'm also thrilled that I have chosen to deal with the cards I've been dealt lately, instead of eating away the pain. 

Right now weight loss is the easiest it's ever been.  I never imagined I'd find myself saying that.  Only one other time in recent history do I remember not having an interest in food, and that was when I had food poisoning in the fall.  Since Wednesday, I can count the number of things I've eaten on two hands.  I know things will get back to normal soon enough with my eating habits, but for now I am going to be thankful that at least this good is happening :).

Still searching for a charm to add to my weight loss bracelet.  I have some ideas in mind and hope to make a purchase this week.

I have also decided to drop my nursing classes this semester since there are some other life situations taking precedence right now, so you should be seeing a lot more of me around these parts.  I'm okay with it.  In fact, I'm okay with this breakup too.  It is necessary, for now.  As each day goes on God reminds me of other blessings I have in my life and those are bringing me happiness.  

Thank you all for your support.  I appreciate it more than you know.

Love Endures All Things

Dear Hilary,

I am writing this letter to you to let you know that you will be okay.  I know right now it is hard to see that.  Trust me, it will get better.

I know your heart has been broken by someone you least expected to break it.  You loved Joel with all of your heart and because of that, it hurts you so deeply right now to imagine a life without him.

But Hilary, listen to me when I say this: God has a plan for you.  That plan is what is best for you, with or without Joel in your life.  Someday, your path will cross with someone else's again, and the two of you will walk together as one, and he will be the man for you.     

I know that you're thinking, "But I don't want someone else. I only want Joel."  You might feel this way right now Hilary, but whatever is meant to be will be. 

Right now, you need to trust in God and His plan for you.  Sing His praises every day, because you do have a lot in your life to be thankful for.  Know that he is walking by your side every step of the way.  You might feel all alone, but trust me, that could not be further from the truth.  God is there with you every second of the day, through every tear you cry and every breath you take.  He is there holding you and telling you that you will be okay. 

Love never fails, Hilary.  So please, go love yourself in every way that you know how.  Love God and all He has done for you and will continue to do for you.  Hilary, the best is yet to come!

Love,
Your future self

Happy Valentine's Day!

I want to wish you and your loved one{s} a very Happy Valentine's Day!  I hope you're enjoying this day that is dedicated to love - why not have a holiday dedicated to one of God's most wonderful gifts?

I know some people do not enjoy this love-inspired day, but I do!  I love it, and I loved it even when I was single.

Thanks to Pinterest, there are endless ideas for days like today.

Joel's breakfast from Saturday

I really enjoy doing things for others, especially when I can put something together for them that is both something I know they'll like, but also allows me to exercise my creative muscles.

Joel surprisingly doesn't mind wearing boxers that have hearts on them.  Every year I buy him v-day themed undies and he always wears them throughout the entire year.  {I almost always get them at Target - they always have cute ones!} 

By the way, could there be a better gift for a fisherman on Valentine's Day?

Then there are these cuties.

And friends, that's as far as it goes with these mini Weight Watchers Red Velvet Cupcakes {from the January 2012 issue}.  They sucked! Whole wheat flour really doesn't cut it when you're trying to achieve the goodness that is red velvet.  I think Joel said it well: "They taste like bread."

Now this little gem on the other hand.... perfecto!

Adapted from the Better Homes & Gardens Breast Cancer cookbook {and tweaked with advice from my gynecologist, who moonlights as a professional pastry chef!},  this Red Waldorf Cake was both dense and moist.  This is the same cake I made at Christmas time, but that one was fairly dry.  After talking with my doctor, she informed me that red velvet is a tricky cake for which to achieve perfect moistness. But I'm proud to say I did.  This time I baked these in mini-heart shaped spring-form pans purchased at Target. The same batter used to make the previous cake, also made six personal heart-shaped cakes as well {taken to a friend's house for a dinner date}.  By the way, this cake is named Red Waldorf Cake because the Waldorf-Astoria hotel were the creators of what we know today as Red Velvet Cake.

Divine.

How About That Weight Loss?


I had another successful weigh in last Friday, removing another 0.7 lbs for a total loss of 28.6 lbs!  Very exciting!

It took a while to receive my goal "prizes" from the previous weigh in, but alas, they came!

 She's really getting filled up.

The Penn State one and the bead immediately to the right of it are the two new ones.   I love them both, and I'm so proud to be displaying my Alma Mater as part of my weight loss journey.  We are tough cookies, us Pennsylvanians :).  That is what the Penn State charm represents. 

The jewelry hanger is proving to be an AMAZING purchase.  I should have taken a before picture of my dresser - it was a nightmare of tangled necklaces.

Not now!  Thanks to that little Etsy shop for this perfect jewelery organizer!

notice how some earrings don't have their mate.  Thank YOU Charles!

I absolutely love this weight loss award.

Other than all that, I'm still chugging away at school {again, why my posts are lacking!} and trying not to indulge too much in the V-day goodness.  As of today, I've only completed 1/2 workouts for the week.  While I don't like to let it go this long into the week, I had a very packed weekend and zero time to squeeze in both gym visits.  I plan to go either Wednesday or Thursday. 

Happy Lovey-Love Day!

A Conversation with God

Hey all - switching things up a little today on TBW.  When I read this from a friend's Facebook page, I nearly cried.... because right now this is really speaking to me and I thought you could benefit by reading it too.

***********************************

Me: God, can I ask you a question?

God: Sure

Me: Promise u won't get mad
...
God: I promise

Me: Why did u let so much stuff happen to me today?

God: What do u mean?

Me: Well, I woke up late

God: Yes

Me: My car took forever to start

God: Okay

Me: at lunch they made my sandwich wrong & I had to wait

God:Huummm

Me: On the way home, my phone went DEAD, just as I picked up a call

God: All right

Me: And on top of it all off, when I got home ~I just want to soak my feet in my new foot massager & relax. BUT it wouldn't work!!! Nothing went right today! Why did you do that?

God: Let me see, the Death Angel was at your bed this morning & I had to send one of the other angels to battle him for your life. I let you sleep through that

Me (humbled): OH

GOD: I didn't let your car start because there was a drunk driver on your route that would have hit you if you were on the road.

Me: (ashamed)

God: The first person who made your sandwich today was sick & I didn't want you to catch what they have, I knew you couldn't afford to miss work.

Me (embarrassed):Ok

God: Your phone went dead bcuz the person that was calling was going to give false witness about what you said on that call, I didn't even let you talk to them so you would be covered.

Me (softly): I see God

God: Oh and that foot massager, it had a shortage that was going to throw out all of the power in your house tonight. I didn't think you wanted to be in the dark.

Me: I'm sorry God

God: Don't be sorry, just learn to trust me.....in all things , the good & the bad.

Me: I will trust you

God: And don't doubt that my plan for your day is always better than your plan.

Me: I won't God. And let me just tell you God, thank you for everything today.

God: You're welcome child. It was just another day being your God and I love looking after my children...

Super Bowl Sunday

Here is how my Sunday went:

1. Woke up around 8 AM and decided to hit the gym shortly thereafter.  I had a big day ahead of me and wanted to get my 2nd round of the activity out of the way for the week. - Great job!

2. After the gym, I showered up and got ready to meet with an old friend at Applebees.  I chose there because of the WW menu.  I didn't order off of that menu however.  Instead I ordered from their "Under 550" calories menu, choosing the Signature Sirloin with Garlic Herb Sauce.  Turns out that Applebees no longer serves the WW shrimp skewers I used to order.  Overall, this wasn't a terrible choice, but it did clock in at 13 PointsPlus, which I discovered once I returned home {there were WW dishes on there for that much too!}. - Unprepared.

3.  Even after that steak and potatoes meal, I was still hungry when I came home.  I have no idea why.  I drank 3 glasses of unsweetened iced tea at the restaurant, and downed a glass of water when I got home, and I was still hungry.  And this is where the downfall begins... - Unprepared with better alternatives and ravenous/stressed out as a result.

It is almost as if once I tell myself I have to really stay on track when a social event occurs, I inevitably do the exact opposite.  I place so much emphasis on it, I fail.  I panic, and then I start to eat.  I had set myself up for success on Sunday, going to the gym early, picking a decent choice while out to eat, but in the end I failed. {I had already had my "special" meal for the week too - that was on Friday night}.

I know I was worrying about the SB party and the tempting food that would be there.  So I ate before we left.  Stupid.  I never understood this logic about eating before you go to a party.  Supposedly this will prevent you from being "tempted" to eat when you get there because you'll be full.  That does not work for me.  Since when has being "full" ever stopped me before?  I mean, hello - 263.8 lbs?  I didn't get to that point by only eating when I was hungry!

The view outside of their apartment:
Washington Monument & the Pentagon in the foreground

But I tried this approach, because I've read about this idea time and time again in magazines and have heard it on TV {I've tried this in the past without success too}.  This is why I wrote that post last week about the gym.  The same logic applies here:  no matter how many studies say this, that and the other, I have to know Hilary and how Hilary operates in given situations.  Despite how many studies say that eating before going to a social event will curb my appetite, it won't.  In fact, it was all I could do to NOT think about food.  All I wanted was to eat.

Joel made wings and I made meatballs  {plus the Hungry Girl Pigs in a Blanket}.  I had 1 wing and 1 turkey meatball {appetizer size, not baseball size}.  Then I ate a ton of broccoli.  Then people started making comments about how I wasn't gorging myself like the rest of them.  Ugh.  I don't like to draw attention to myself with food.  At. All.  So then I went back for more food {even though I was pretty much out of Points for the day by the time we got to the party}, and I got a few more of those Hungry Girl Pigs in a Blanket.  None of this looks bad in black and white, and really it wasn't bad and I should've just stopped there, but I didn't because at the time I was entering in to the "I'm blowing it" mindset.

Another view from their apartment:
The Airforce Memorial & the Arlington National Cemetery (background)

Then we made an even more brilliant move and we took food home with us.  UGH.  I had fudge & pizza before this gorge-fest ended.  Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I could speculate all I want to as to how to have redone Super Bowl Sunday.  But the bottom line is this: I need to do what I know is right for Hilary.  Not what a million and one studies say because clearly those studies must apply to every single person out there.  No.  I know what works for me and what makes me successful.  I definitely ate out of boredom at the party, and that's another problem that needs to be reckoned with.  Still, I also know I could've planned things better if I would've just really listened to myself instead of doing what "they" say to do. 

Right now I feel like I've undone all of the success from last week, and it sucks.  I'm not out of the 230s {I got on the scale Tuesday morning}, but the numbers are creeping back up, instead of back down.

How did you make it through Super Bowl Sunday?

Weight Watchers Baked Fruit Cinnamon Oatmeal

I had a special request to post this recipe, so here it is.  I have no pictures of this one though.  I will warn you: this recipe says it serves 8.  When baked in an 8 x 8 pan, naturally you would cut it evenly in to 8 pieces.  Then you realize how small those pieces are, and it's 7 PointsPlus!  However, in the cookbook, it also gives the weight of the serving size, which is 126 grams.  THAT makes this worth the 7 PointsPlus, especially because it's so filling.

Also, I find that adding milk to it is necessary, since it is definitely on the dryer side otherwise (especially if you make this for the week). 

I hope you like it!

Weight Watchers Baked Fruit Cinnamon Oatmeal (7 PointsPlus)

• 3 cup old-fashioned oats
• 1/2 cup chopped dried apricots
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries or blueberries (I used bluebs!)
• 1/3 cup packed dark brown sugar
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 3/4 tsp ground cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 1/2 cup plain fat-free yogurt
• 1 cup reduced fat (2%) milk (I used skim)
• 1/2 cup applesauce
• 1/2 cup Egg Beaters
• 2 Tbsp canola oil
• 1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350.  Lightly spray and 8-inch square baking dish with nonstick spray.
2. Mix together oats, apricots, cranberries/blueberries, all but 2 Tbsp of brown sugar, the baking powder, cinnamon, and salt in a large bowl.  Whisk together yogurt, 1/2 cup milk, the applesauce, egg substitute, oil, and vanilla in a medium bowl until smooth.  Add yogurt mixture to oat mixture, stirring until combined well.
3. Spoon into prepared baking dish and spread evenly; sprinkle with remaining 2 tablespoons brown sugar.  Bake oatmeal until toothpick inserted into center comes out clean, about 35 minutes.  Let cool 10 minutes in baking dish on wire rack.  Cut oatmeal into 8 equal portions and serve with remaining 1/2 cup milk.

Makes 8 servings

Weigh In Results & What Worked This Week

There are a number of things that I believe contributed to my amazing loss this week.

What Worked This Week:

1. Decreasing my DPT from 39 to 38.  I've been at a 39 Daily PointsPlus Target for several weeks now.  I wanted to switch things up to see what decreasing it by 1 PointsPlus would do.  Turns out it did a lot!  Though I know this wasn't the only contributing factor, and I'll explain more.

2. Plenty of fruit.  The bulk of my snacks this week were of the fruit kind: strawberries and blueberries.  I've heard some meeting members in the past say that if they eat too much fruit, they either don't lose or they gain. For someone whose sweet tooth is the size of my head, eating fruit in place of chocolate or some other snack that is on the sugary side was a much better alternative.  Not to mention the fact that it was filling AND 0 PointsPlus!  And, let's be honest, I did not get to 263.8 lbs by overeating fruit!

3. Filling Breakfasts.  This week I had another oatmeal breakfast. If I give myself a delicious and filling breakfast, it really sets the tone for the rest of my day {most of the time}.  I find I am less ravenous throughout the day.  Oatmeal in and of itself is filling, but add some dried apricots, dried blueberries, and a little splash of milk and it's right on par.  I tried this oatmeal from my Weight Watchers cookbook called Baked Fruit Cinnamon Oatmeal {7 PointsPlus}.  So good!

4. Meeting Weekly Activity Goal.  Again, this week I got in both days of activity.  That definitely helped me drop the weight!

5. Not Eating All of My DPT.  There were 3 days this week that I didn't eat all of my 38 PointsPlus.  I didn't do this on purpose, it was just because I was busy and food was not on my mind.  What does that tell you? I typically eat because I'm bored and it gives me something to do.  This week I was busy with school, among other things, and thinking about food wasn't at the forefront.

6. Allowing One "Indulgent Meal" Per Week.  I've been living by this rule since the start of the new year.  I allow myself one meal each week where I can eat whatever I want.  Yes, I still count it {even if it puts me in the red for the Weekly PointsPlus}, but I enjoy it without guilt.  I don't feel deprived and when I find myself craving an indulgent meal {which for me, this just means going out to eat and consuming whatever I want}, I remind myself that I can have it next week for my "indulgent meal".

the ceiling fan at a pizza shop where last week's indulgent meal was consumed!

Upcoming Challenges This Week:

• Super Bowl Sunday.  We are going to a party on Sunday afternoon.  I'm making some food for it, but it's not really PointsPlus friendly food {I don't intend on eating it either, it's just what I was asked to bring}. So, having said that, I do plan to make at least one more dish that is WW friendly, which will most likely be these.

 Weigh In Results:

   Hilary (5'8")

Starting Weight: 263.8

Current Weight: 235.9

This week I lost 5.1 lbs!  AND I met two goals!!!!!!!  I reached another 5 lbs goal AND I reached my first 10% goal as well. This means I get two charms and one other reward.  This is what I'm getting:

1. The Jewelry Organizer.  I have an endless supply of necklaces and earrings that are a constant tangled mess.  Not to mention that Charles likes to use my earrings as his toys!  This gem is coming from the Etsy store Jewelry Holders for You.

2. Charms.  I've already chosen the one charm I am getting for sure, and it's in honor of my beloved alma mater:

Sold on Ebay by Bedazzling Beads.

I'm going this evening to pick out my other charm.  Sorry Pandora, but I am not going with you this time on the charm selection.  These beauties are on my Chamilia wishlist {I'm only getting one}:

I've also updated my progress pics, which, I honestly cannot say that I see much of a difference in those pictures just yet.  The most I can see is with my face.  The first set of pictures were taken at an odd angle, and I'm trying to be consistent with the angle now so it more accurately shows the losses.  But that's okay, I can FEEL the difference that 27.9 lbs removed makes.... and it's a lot!


What is working for you this week?