Battling Weight Loss

Tonight is my mid-week weigh in at WW.  I do not anticipate this going well and will be happy if I have a loss from 2 weeks ago - even if it's only 0.1 lbs!

I made it to the gym on both Monday and Tuesday.  Yesterday was a challenge to go - Joel is still recovering from sickness and he wasn't going, and when I got home I just didn't want to go - I wanted to sit around and hang out with him!  But I quickly remembered what I read often on all the blogs I follow - that you never regret a trip to the gym.  And so I went for 40 minutes on the elliptical, that started off with very heavy legs.

Joel asked me when I left if I'd bring home McDonald's.  I wasn't craving it by any means, but I was considering it because I just didn't feel like making dinner.  Though after that sweaty workout, I couldn't justify going to McDonald's for dinner.  Those types of justifications are probably why I'm still gaining/losing the same 5+ lbs when I should be well on my way to my goal after 9 months of attending the gym regularly.  It's sad and defeating thinking that I'm still virtually at the same place I was when I started attending the gym back in November 2010.  A friend mentioned getting checked out by a doctor to make sure my hormone levels were okay.  I actually had my thyroid tested about a year ago and that checked out just fine, so I'm hoping that hormones are NOT to blame.  

I know that today I rarely follow the plan to a "T", and most times I haven't been even coming CLOSE to following it to a "T" and so I know a lot of that is to blame.  But even in the past when I've done WW, the weight still came off very easily in the beginning, and I've never been able to achieve perfection following The Plan (meaning, I never went a full week without going over Points values at least one day out of the week - and this was before the Weekly Points Plus allowance).  I know I'm capable of losing a lot of weight - I lost 50 lbs when I was a junior in college and kept it off for a little over a year, and that was with plenty of heavy drinking nights and late night runs to Sheetz!

I want this weight off once and for all, and I want to be able to live life to it's fullest.  I know that when I do achieve this biggest life goal I have for myself, I'll have the confidence to do anything I want to do... because this has truly been the hardest thing I've ever had to do for myself in the 27 years I've spent on this earth.  It wasn't the first day of college, or finding a job, or even the first day of going to work in Washington, DC, or any other situation that has scared the absolute crap out of me.   

Still, this is my journey, and however long it takes and whatever obstacles I have to battle, I'll do it.